


What I Know

by spinsters_grave



Series: PJO Sapphic Week 2k17 [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 04:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11913408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinsters_grave/pseuds/spinsters_grave
Summary: “You love me.” Clarisse glanced over and bit at her lip. Gradually, her body curled in on itself, and hands chased comfort with each other. “I’m sorry.”They try to find comfort with each other, but the Titans are coming, and they can’t tell a soul.





	What I Know

“Silena,” Clarisse whispered, as if the word were something holy and precious and new. “Silena, Silena.”

 

Silena let her hand slip away from Clarisse’s face. “Clarisse.” It landed on someone’s thigh. “Don’t go.”

 

Clarisse put her own hand on top of Silena’s. “My love, I must,” she said. “Unfortunately, we’re heros, and this is our duty.”

 

“You love it,” Silena murmured, something bitter rising from a spot deep in her mind. Her hand clenched into a fist under Clarisse’s own.

 

“I love you more,” Clarisse shot back. “I would do anything to make you see.”

 

“If you love me, you wouldn’t go,” Silena said. She buried her head into the crook of Clarisse’s neck. “People _die_ there. If you—”

 

“I’m not going to die,” Clarisse said. “Promise. I’m too tough for that.” She pulled away from Silena to flex her bicep, a stupid expression on her face. Silena had to laugh, but she tried to stifle it as best she could.

 

“You are ridiculous.”

 

“You love me.” Clarisse glanced over and bit at her lip. Gradually, her body curled in on itself, and hands chased comfort with each other. “I’m sorry.”

 

Silena’s hand slipped back over Clarisse’s cheek. “You don’t have to be sorry. I’m just—I worry. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

 

Clarisse leaned into Silena’s hand for only a moment. Her eyes darted to the side, looking intensely at the entrance of their grove, where the rest of the camp played volleyball in their ancient sand pit or tended to the pegasi or just existed, blissfully unaware. She stood up and pulled Silena to her feet.

 

“We should go,” Clarisse murmured. “Your boyfriend is probably wondering where you are.”

 

Silena had to look away. She savagely brushed at her nose—those darn allergies, she would say. Grass was her worst nightmare.

 

“I’m not going to say sorry,” Silena mumbled. “I do love him.”

 

Clarisse sighed. “I know you do. He’s a great guy, Silena, of _course_ you do. I would too, but…” she trailed off, but Silena knew who she was thinking about.

 

“Chris,” she said.

 

“You,” Clarisse said, “actually.”

 

Their hands, still clasped between them, weighed like five tons on Silena’s mind. “Oh.” She gave the five tons a small squeeze, and was gratified when Clarisse returned it.

 

“I know you don’t want to tell them,” Clarisse murmured. “I know it’s—hard, it’s _difficult,_ I know we don’t know how they would react, what they would say, what they would do—”

 

Silena stepped close enough to knock foreheads with Clarisse. “You know what I know? I know it’s too much to try to know what they’ll do. I know we only have a little longer until college rolls around and we’ll probably be separated. I know I’ll visit Phoenix whenever I want to. I know I can break up with Charlie whenever I want to.”

 

“I know you’ll never break up with him,” Clarisse murmured. She closed her eyes. “I know you two will get married one day, have two and a half kids, a house in the suburbs…”

 

“I know we could die tomorrow,” Silena said. “I know exactly how mortal we are. I know how immortal our love is.”

 

“I’m not going to die.” Clarisse drew herself away and started on the path back to camp. Silena rushed after her.

 

“I know that,” Silena said. “You don’t have to tell me that.”

 

Clarisse ground to a halt in the forest, a dangerous place to stop for anyone, even gods. She took a deep breath, and Silena felt pride rise up in her at how well Clarisse was trying to handle her anger.

 

“You’re right, we should head back,” Silena muttered. “We have archery in ten minutes.”

 

* * *

 

Percy asked her a few times where Clarisse had gone. Silena kept her silence, however hard it was. At times, it felt like she was the only one grieving. Most nights, she didn’t sleep, instead trying to get the moon to shed some light on her silver bracelet.

 

When Clarisse finally returned, Silena jumped into her arms, whispering, “I knew it, I knew you’d come back.” Clarisse said nothing, only seperated herself from Silena quietly and without fuss.

 

Later, Clarisse whispered back, “I told you. I knew I wouldn’t die.”

 

“You could have,” Silena said. “The worst part, you know, is… worrying.”

 

“You have more things to worry about than me dying.”

 

“I don’t—there is literally nothing more important than you living and loving me.”

 

Clarisse pushed herself up on one hand, watching the way Silena shifted from lying on her side to looking up. She said nothing, and Silena silently watched, searching for something, anything.

 

“I missed you.”

 

Clarisse put one hand over Silena’s hair. She had washed it, just for this. “I missed you too.”

 

“I know.”

 

* * *

 

“People _die_ out there,” Clarisse said. “I’m not going to go.”

 

Silena grabbed for her hand. Tried not to be offended when Clarisse crossed her arms, closing herself off. “People have been dying all summer. What you can do—please. For me.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“Yes, you can.”

 

“Then I won’t.”

 

Silena sighed, then stepped closer, if only to bury her head in Clarisse’s shoulder. They said nothing for forever, or until Clarisse wrapped her arms around Silena’s shaking body, drawing her closer.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered into Silena’s unbound hair. “I know you want me to go.”

 

“Yeah,” Silena murmured, her lips brushing against Clarisse’s shoulder. “I know you won’t die.”

 

Clarisse hummed.

 

“I don’t want you to go,” Silena continued. “I want to take care of you, and love you, and—and—”

 

One solitary tear landed on Clarisse’s shoulder, and Silena drew herself away harshly, begging herself not to feel what she was feeling. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Clarisse whispered. “Silena, Silena, Silena.”

 

 

 

 

END

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Written for PJO Sapphics Week (http://pjosapphicweeks.tumblr.com/) Free Day! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


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